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Al Bundy Quotes

Love is not only blind but stupid.

Sure selling shoes is fun. But behind the glamour, it’s like any other minimum wage slow death.

Envy me. That’s my wife. Those are my kids and I sell women’s shoes. I was dead before I got here.

Al: The phone bill came. Let’s see…There’s some big fat calls to Milwaukee. Peg, do you know anyone big and fat in Milwaukee?
Peg: Hold on, mom.
Al: That’s right. Your mother.

(Al and Steve seen a beautiful woman)
Al: I knew women looked like that. I knew it. I knew it.

Oh, Lord, if I ever meant anything to you, please let me fall asleep before she thinks of sex.

I married you ’til death do us part. So when I’m dead, I’m free to date.

Let me explain. It’s just like an elevator. There’s a 2 ton weight limit on those shoes.

What was I thinking when I said ‘I do’ ? I’d already had sex with her so I didn’t need that again.

Except for the day before the day I met you, this is the happiest day of my life.

You give him a bottle of redeye and a Playboy and he’ll marry your mother to a cow.

I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money
out of my wallet.

5000 bucks for a Barbie doll??? A real woman isn’t worth that much …

Go away, Peg !!!

A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Wanted a pair of shoes for a christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star in her butt and go as the world’s largest, ugliest tree!

Remember our motto : We ain’t got it.

May the shoe-business take you all!

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